Sunday, July 31, 2011

A poem by me

-Ode to weight-
by KK
I love my bright blue eyes
I do not love my rounding thighs
I delight in my full lips
I fright at my bulging hips
The perfect curve of my ear
Does not detract from the roundness of my rear
The proud lines of my neck
Does not hide that my cankles are a wreck
My personality may make us chummy
But it still looks like I have a baby in my tummy

Weight, we are forever engaged in battle
I want you to know I will no longer prattle
Soda, white starches and candy are your rangers
Stress and emotion your vessel of dangers
But I am on to you, weight, I know your game
My excuses will no longer be lame
I will rise from the lazy I call life
And become a better mother and wife.

 So good luck to us both, the game is on
You've won thus far but that time is forgone
I got me some knowledge and love on my side
time to show you, I do have pride.
Bring on you brownies, beer and bread
I've been practicing tae bo and will  knock 'em dead!

Friday, July 29, 2011

Blah blah blah

Westminster Toys The Happy Hamster Wheel RunnerI haven't been posting. I feel like a hamster with it's foot stuck in the wheel. I keep trying to stay on the wheel and keep up but my foot is stuck so instead of running in the wheel I keep flopping then running then flopping. Figuratively speaking of course.  I did really great working out last week. I went five full days! Then I missed Monday because I was coming off my graveyard shifts and was tired. Understandable right? Tuesday I did cardio and it felt great! Wednesday was my bummer day. I had a big day and I had no clothes that fit.  Even my maternity clothes that had fit no longer did! Ahhhhh! What a blow to my already fragile self esteem! So instead of bucking up and doing an exercise I buckled to my depression, I bought a bag of crack rolls and the eating commenced.  I'm trying to get the attitude of working out is fun again but I'm having a hard time.  Now that I have done my whaw whaw whaw shpell I will move on!  I know I just have to stick to the exercise and eating right but it's so hard when the opposite is so much easier right? That's how I got to where I am now! Buck up little camper and get to gettin'
I Want To Be A Cowboy

Sunday, July 24, 2011

tired and sore...

I haven't written the past few days but let me tell ya it's not cause I have been lazy! I started doing the p90 exercise and it's kicking my butt! Holy soreness. I could barely roll over the first couple of days! Today I am feeling good.  Last night I did power yoga while at work and today I feel bad because I am not sore! Does that mean I didn't push myself hard enough? It's weird going from absolute denial of exercise to wanting to make sure it's doing something! I want the pain baby!  I weighed myself today and I am still at 190. I am not giving up though. I am going to keep pushing and hopefully by this time next week I will at least be able to fit into another pair of pants (I can only wear two of the ones I have now and those I had to buy last month)

Wednesday, July 20, 2011

Got milk?

Native Forest Organic Light Coconut Milk, Reduced Fat, 13.5-Ounce Cans (Pack of 12)Imagine Rice Dream Drink, Enriched Original, 32-Ounce Boxes (Pack of 12)Blue Diamond Almond Breeze Milk, Unsweetened Vanilla, 32-Ounce Boxes (Pack of 12)Soy Dream Enriched Soymilk, Vanilla, 8-Ounce Boxes (Pack of 27)Organic Valley White 1 % Milkfat Lowfat Milk, 8-Ounce Carton (Pack of 12)
I have always fought an uphill battle with milk. I think it's gross. If I stop and think about where it came from I kinda gag. All those germs and yuckiness swimming in the creamy whiteness? I once broke up with a guy for drinking my milk! To me milk is contaminated and someone drinking my milk furthers my contamination.  There has been alot of controversy over whether or not dairy is good for the human body.  For my family we stopped drinking it about two years ago, both the boys in our family have a milk intolerance.  My stepson has adhd and when he drinks milk he get more hyper and aggitated.  My husband gets stomach aches and can't focus at work.  My stepdaughter easily transitioned and loves vanilla soymilk.  The rest of us took awhile to find our kind of alternate milk.  My husband is partial to rice and almond. I love coconut and flax and my stepson will put whatever we have on his cereal. I'm just going to list the pros and cons of dairy vs non dairy (I found many many sites). We all thought it would be a hard switch but in truth I think we all feel better!


Health benefits of milk include good bone health, smooth skin, strong immune system, prevention of illnesses such as hypertension, dental decay, dehydration, respiratory problems, obesity, osteoporosis and even some forms of cancer. The beneficial health nutrients obtained from milk are mandatory for human body and help in prevention of chronic ailments.Milk of other animals buffalo, goat, sheep, camel, reindeer and yak. Milk of horse and donkey is also consumed by humans, though this is rare. (can you say gross? pass the camel milk please?)

Understanding the Problems with Dairy Products

1.Osteoporosis. Milk is touted for preventing osteoporosis, yet clinical research shows otherwise.  In fact, increased intake of calcium from dairy products was associated with a higher fracture risk.
2. Cardiovascular Disease
Dairy products—including cheese, ice cream, milk, butter, and yogurt—contribute significant amounts of cholesterol and fat to the diet.10 Diets high in fat and saturated fat can increase the risk of several chronic diseases including cardiovascular disease.
3. Cancer
Several cancers, such as ovarian cancer, have been linked to the consumption of dairy products. The milk sugar lactose is broken down in the body into another sugar, galactose. In turn, galactose is broken down further by enzymes.Breast and prostate cancers have also been linked to consumption of dairy products, presumably related, at least in part, to increases in a compound called insulin-like growth factor (IGF-I).13-15 IGF-I is found in cow’s milk and has been shown to occur in increased levels in the blood by individuals consuming dairy products on a regular basis.
4. Diabetes
Insulin-dependent diabetes (Type I or childhood-onset) is linked to consumption of dairy products. Epidemiological studies of various countries show a strong correlation between the use of dairy products and the incidence of insulin-dependent diabetes.17,18 Researchers in 199218 found that a specific dairy protein sparks an auto-immune reaction, which is believed to be what destroys the insulin-producing cells of the pancreas.
5. Lactose Intolerance
Symptoms, which include gastrointestinal distress, diarrhea, and flatulence, occur because these individuals do not have the enzymes that digest the milk sugar lactose. Additionally, along with unwanted symptoms, milk-drinkers are also putting themselves at risk for development of other chronic diseases and ailments.
6. Vitamin D Toxicity
Consumption of milk may not provide a consistent and reliable source of vitamin D in the diet. Samplings of milk have found significant variation in vitamin D content, with some samplings having had as much as 500 times the indicated level, while others had little or none at all.20,21 Too much vitamin D can be toxic and may result in excess calcium levels in the blood and urine, increased aluminum absorption in the body, and calcium deposits in soft tissue.
7. Contaminants
Synthetic hormones such as recombinant bovine growth hormone (rBGH) are commonly used in dairy cows to increase the production of milk.13 Because the cows are producing quantities of milk nature never intended, the end result is mastitis, or inflammation of the mammary glands. The treatment requires the use of antibiotics, and traces of these and hormones have been found in samples of milk and other dairy products. Pesticides and other drugs are also frequent contaminants of dairy products.
8. Health Concerns of Infants and Children
Milk proteins, milk sugar, fat, and saturated fat in dairy products may pose health risks for children and lead to the development of chronic diseases such as obesity, diabetes, and formation of athersclerotic plaques that can lead to heart disease.
The American Academy of Pediatrics recommends that infants below one year of age not be given whole cow’s milk, as iron deficiency is more likely on a dairy-rich diet. Cow’s milk products are very low in iron. If they become a major part of one’s diet, iron deficiency is more likely.10 Colic is an additional concern with milk consumption. One out of every five babies suffers from colic. Pediatricians learned long ago that cows’ milk was often the reason. We now know that breastfeeding mothers can have colicky babies if the mothers are consuming cow’s milk. The cows’ antibodies can pass through the mother’s bloodstream into her breast milk and to the baby.22 Additionally, food allergies appear to be common results of milk consumption, particularly in children. A recent study23 also linked cow’s milk consumption to chronic constipation in children. Researchers suggest that milk consumption resulted in perianal sores and severe pain on defecation, leading to constipation.
Milk and dairy products are not necessary in the diet and can, in fact, be harmful to your health. Consume a healthful diet of grains, fruits, vegetables, legumes, and fortified foods including cereals and juices. These nutrient-dense foods can help you meet your calcium, potassium, riboflavin, and vitamin D requirements with ease—and without the health risks.


Pissed.

I'm angry, I'm frustrated I am tired. I am at 190 again. I know why, I have been working odd hours and eating really bad food.  I am sick of reading these silly diet books that tell me they know the best way for me to live. I am sure that anyone, and I mean anyone who doesn't eat any carbs or fruits or processed food for two meals of the day and then eats two cups of salad before their dinner will loose weight. I am also sure that anyone who makes so many small changes it adds up to a whole new lifestyle change, they will lose weight too. In fact, I am sure than anyone who sticks to any diet or dramatic lifestlye change will lose weight.  Sigh. It's just not for me. I love food I love beer and I am an emotional eater who does it to much. Do I sound angry or whiney?  I meant to sound angry but I think I am sounding a little crazy.  So I am making this commitment to myself. I will start working out.  What good is all this anger just pent up? Not much, it just gets worse until I want to throw something and watch it break!  Today I bit the proverbial bullet and exercised.  I decided if I was just going to sit here and feel angry and sorry for myself I would get more out of it if I at least tried. So I tried.  The first disc is 40 minutes and I made it 30. Not bad. I feel pretty dang good too (but don't tell anyone) Day one of ninety. What's ninety days= Twelve weeks= three months? I can do this. I at least am going to try!

Monday, July 18, 2011

Daily affirmations???

Have you heard about the power of suggestion? I read tonight that if you stop and say these affirmations to yourself each morning and every night, you are retuning your brain. I am pretty sure I do not have the follow through, I give up quite easily when I don't see results (I am an instant gratification kinda gal sometimes, but who isn't?) Has anyone out there tried daily affirmations? What did you think?

 

 

Affirmations For Weight Loss




Everyday I am feeling thinner and looking better



I love being healthy



Everyday in everyway, I am getting slimmer and fitter



I love exercising and making myself healthy



Everyday I am getting closer to my ideal weight
(can be made more specific by stating exact weight eg. 50 kgs)



I enjoy food that is healthy, balanced and makes me thin



I now claim my birthright to having a healthy and slim body



Losing weight comes easily and naturally to me



I am fully committed to reaching my ideal weight



If others can lose weight, so can I



I am on the road to health and fitness

Friday, July 15, 2011

Mango Banana muffins. Oh my goodness. yum.

I made these this morning and my husband and I have almost polished them off!  Delicious! So delicious! Amazingly delicious!

Mango Banana Muffins

2 cup whole wheat flour
1/2 cup sugar
2 tsp baking soda
2 tsp cinnamon
1/2 tsp salt

3 Eggs
1/4 cup oil
1/2 cup applesauce
1 Tbls lime juice
1 banana mashed
2 cup mango mashed/pureed

Mix the dry ingredients. Mix the wet ingredients in a seperate bowl. Mix the wet with the dry. Plop into the muffin tins with the muffin liners.  Heat oven to 375. Cook for 25 min or until done
I fill my muffin tin's only 3/4 the way full and got 30 muffins. Next time I would very much fill them all the way to the top for more full muffins!
side note: I added almond slices to my last batch and they were okay not great but not terrible :0
another side note: If you want to struedel your muffin tops: cut butter with a little flour with brown suga until you have a nice consistanticy then crumble it on top of your awesome creation.
GOOD LUCK. YUM!!!!

Thursday, July 14, 2011

Pep talk.

So I went on  a walk yesterday, I even had my husband take a picture that I could post but it was a huge reality check. My thighs were huge and Nothing in that picture was attractive, it was embarressing. So I am keeping the picture but not posting it.  For today I am going to give myself a pep talk. Here it is:
"The average American woman is 164 pounds and 5'4". That's about 35 pounds heavier and six inches shorter than the average supermodel."
          "Venus would have been 5'5" 160 pounds and a size 12."
There are many many many beautiful woman who are proud of who they are and how they look and as I think about it more these are the women I admire:
  Queen Latifah, what a beautiful woman so proud to be herself just like I want to be!
“’Plus-size’ is a word we need to bury at this point … I wanted to make something size two and up. The truth is, we all would like to wear the same clothes. We all want to wear beautiful, fly clothes no matter what size you are, and so for me it was important to match with a company that understood and respected that ideal.”
 Beverly McClellan, was on the Voice and she didnt let anything stop her from being herself.
 Oprah Winfrey, what woman has more power? What woman has ever been more sure of herself and when she wasn't sure admitted it? This woman is kind smart and giving and her size has nothing to do with it!
"It is confidence in our bodies, minds and spirits that allows us to keep looking for new adventures, new directions to grow in, and lessons to learn -- which is what life is all about"
 Brooke Elliott, have you seen Drop Dead Diva? Funny and sexy.
  "We're conditioned to believe that beauty comes in one specific package, but this project is dispelling that myth, saying that beauty is everywhere, in every body type, in every type of person,"

Thank you ladies...

Wednesday, July 13, 2011

ARG. Diet books. ARG.

I started this post off with something cute (my daughter) because she brings a smile to my face and helps me put my life and weight into perspective! I am at 189 and holding strong. This makes me so mad. You know what this means? This means I am going to have to exercise. NOOOOOOOOOO! But yes I may have to bite the bullet and give in. So I know a little bit at a time and make it fun right? Right. Good luck with that! I am going to start with a walk today. I can handle a walk. Walks are nice, walks are relaxing. That's it I am going on a walk.

Oh yum. Thank goodness!

Bear Creek Country Kitchens Creamy Potato Soup Mix, 5.5-Ounce Bags (Pack of 6)Last night I made some fantastic soup that only took fifteen minutes!  I started with the potato soup base (which we won't be using again because I read the ingrediants and it has yellow 5 which my stepdaughter is allergic to) and then I threw in a bag of frozen veggies.  After it was cooked I took the soup by a scoopful and put in our NuWave twister and blended the veggies. The soup was fantastic did I mention that? We didn't add salt or pepper after it was all pureed.  If I may just say I use our twister to make baby food and to puree our soups because the kids (and husband) don't like chunks of veggies in them.  Yum and easy!!




My husband got into the fancy mood and toasted rye bread with a little butter then added tomatos and cheese.

Heaven, I was in heaven.  If this was a diet, I would stick to it easily haha!


Monday, July 11, 2011

Light reading?

I will admit I felt very deflated (mentally not physically) after the fourth of July weekend when my "small changes" were not having the affect I had hoped for after reading THE FLEX DIET, in fact because of my emotional eating I gained weight.  Then I found a book called CARBOHYDRATE ADDICTS DIET and I got all excited again.  I ordered the book and was proptly bored.  It has taken me a week just to get to the diet part which is less than half way through the book. Now I am a fast reader. I read CATCHING FIRE (the second book in the fantastic series of Hunger Games) in about four hours. CARB ADDICTS book is a tough read. Very scientific and such (boring) The basis so far is that when a normal person eats, insulin is released to help digest the food and let the body know it's full.  When a carb addict eats the insulin is released the same as everyone else but in the wrong amounts.  When carb addicts eat things like fruit, breads and refined sugars, the insulin doesn't know what to do with itself and causes all sorts of havoc on the body. Their plan is to not eat carbs during breakfast and lunch but to feel free to have carbs at dinner as long as you eat two cups of salad first.  I haven't read any further, can I eat two cups of salad every night for the rest of my life? Could you?

my weight today is 188 and I am still doing the small changes I commited to doing so far....

Thursday, July 7, 2011

I am an addict

 For years and years I have been conviced I have a thyroid problem. I asked doctors to test me but to no avail. I have wondered and wondered what is wrong with me. Even when I eat right and exercise it's still an uphill battle to lose the weight. Then I read this article about Carbohydate addicts.  Symptoms include
1. I get tired and/or hungry in the afternoon.
2. I feel lethargic after a meal.
3. I have a hard time stopping once I eat my favorite carb foods (starches, sweets, snacks).
4. When I feel stressed, my first response is to want to eat something.
5. I can’t live without my favorite carb foods.
6. I have a tendency to binge.
7. I frequently crave high-carb foods (sweets, pasta, bread etc.)
8. I am a compulsive eater. I wish I could control my eating.
9. I am overweight even though I don’t really eat that much.
Oh my goodness it's me right there!  Does anyone else see this? Unbelievable!  If I buy a bag of dinner rolls from costco (we call them my crack rolls) I will of eaten them in three days or less. Most of the time I can't remember eating them! Would you believe I found alot of imformation on a SoberRecovery site? So I am ordering this book that says they can help and we will go from there! I need more information people! INFORMATION IS POWER

Wednesday, July 6, 2011

Fat sick and nearly dead~ Juice fast video

So I watched this movie yesterday and really really wanted to go buy a juicer! Thank goodness I didn't it would of been a waste of money because once I got out of the after affects of the movie I am pretty sure I could not go 10 days only drinking juice, but the thought has merit.  The two guys in this video were overweight and on medication for a disease which their body fights itself.  SO the first guy decides to go on a fruits and veggie juice diet for 60 days!  The results are incredible.  Only drinking fruits and veggies allowed his body to rebalance it's self so that he no longer needed medication and he lost the weight that plagued him. 

Are small changes enough?

I must admit I am feeling pretty frustrated and irritated with this whole process.  I know it's my fault but I am wondering if small changes are going to be enough to help me get to where I want to be.  I would love to say that I am going to commit and do something to change it but since the baby (the cute fantastic wonderful baby) was born I haven't been able to commit to anything besides her!  Thats crazy for me because I love to be decisive and in charge!  I am going to keep trying small changes for the rest of this week and at the end of the week re-evalutate my situation.  I am holding steady at 190 and it makes me sad.  But obviously not sad enough to take big action~ hmmm~ 
My husband says we should start working out once a day together. We have the PX90 videos and if we do start working out I think that's what we would do.  A glimmer of hope on the horizon? Or is that glimmer sweat and pain? Oh exercise I curse thee with open arms.

Monday, July 4, 2011

Trouble trouble trouble

Oh boy. Do you know four days of parties does to a person's body? I do. I am at 190. Biscuts in a basket that makes me mad. So lesson learned? Not really I am sure if I was in the same situations I would do the same things I did. OVER indulge in yummy family foods and drink. For my small change today, I have enlisted my husband to try and help keep me better on track.  I told him he has to be strong! He has to help me be strong! So he brought home ice cream for himself and wasabi popcorn for me. Can I just say YUM!!! oh my.... I drank half of my water today and only did one round of warm ups.  I did sleep my allotted hours though :)  Happy Fourth everyone!
Popcorn Indiana, Popcorn Wasabi, 5.5 OZ (Pack of 12)

Sunday, July 3, 2011

Day six...warm up

My weight today is 187 dang it!  I think maybe those five brownies two days ago and the two donuts last night have settled in.  Arg.  Okay so I picked the warm up solution to see if it will help jumpstart my weight loss.  In no way shape or form is this exercise! This is warm ups or calisthenics not exercise (because I hate exercise remember?) I am supposed to do twenty reps of each of the following twice a day.
Sit ups
Crunches
Push ups
Squats
Calf raises
Jumping Jacks
Oh boy that sounds like exercise. I think I was duped.  And twenty reps? I think I am going to have to work up to those push ups.  I did four before I collasped! Oh boy Oh Boy. The calf raises are easy I do at least a hundred of those a day when rocking my baby.  The rest I am going to do when baby is sleeping and I am watching tv.  That way it won't seem so bad right? RIGHT??? Deep breath. It's going to be okay ;)

Self esteem is a funny thing

It's really not so funny but I have noticed that if I do not look at myself in the mirror I have alot more confidence in myself and my appearance.  It seems to me the longer I don't see my widening reflection the better I feel about myself!  I believe the word here would be "avoidance" and what I need to work on is "acceptance" I know I am a funny smart determined woman but I often let myself think otherwise, because at times in my life I have been told otherwise and it's always easier to believe lies than to stay true to yourself.  My husband is amazing at reminding me daily how great I am and I know I need to keep on keepin on!

Saturday, July 2, 2011

Day five...bump...sleep

Last night was a family party and I may or may not of indulged in five brownies? Okay okay I did it! I ate five brownies. I swear it was not my fault, who in there right mind would say no to gooey, chocolate frosted with walnuts included brownies? I know I know have one, savor it and move on. Not so easy for the emotional eater!  We have all three kids this weekend and I have noticed my bad eating/drinking habits go through the roof after dealing with my step kids mom.  Sad but true. It's a work in process! So back to this weight loss thing ;)  Weight today is 186. I drank over 2 liter's of water yesterday and I just took my multi vitamin!  My small change for today isn't really a small change it's something I always strive for...more sleep! Flex diet says to aim for seven to eight hours. Studies have consistently shown that sleep plays a vital role in promoting physical health, longevity, and emotional well-being.
Sleep helps to repair your body.
Your body produces extra protein molecules while you're sleeping that helps strengthen your ability to fight infection and stay healthy.
Sleep helps keep your heart healthy. Your cardiovascular system is constantly under pressure and sleep helps to reduce the levels of stress and inflammation in your body.
Sleep reduces stress.
A good night's sleep can help lower blood pressure and elevated levels of stress hormones, which are a natural result of today's fast paced lifestyle.
Sleep improves your memory.
That 'foggy' feeling that you struggle with when deprived of sleep makes it difficult to concentrate
Sleep helps control body weight issues.
Sleep helps regulate the hormones that affect and control your appetite. Studies have shown that when your body is deprived of sleep, the normal hormone balances are interrupted and your appetite increases.
Sleep reduces your chances of diabetes
Researchers have shown that lack of sleep may lead to type 2 diabetes by affecting how your body processes glucose, which is the carbohydrate your cells use for fuel.
Sleep reduces the occurrence of mood disorders.
With insufficient sleep during the night, many people become agitated or moody the following day. Yet, when limited sleep becomes a chronic issue, studies have shown it can lead to long-term mood disorders such as depression or anxiety.


 Ahhh sleep, you sound dreamy, want to meet up later? Say maybe tonight?Wish me luck!

Side comment (nothing to do with weightloss)

I just found this beautiful backgroud for my blog of a dandelion.  I don't think people give these beautiful flowers enough credit!  If I thought I could have my whole front yard full of them and get away with it without being thought a little white trash, I totally would! These flowers are so freaking cool. They represent first the sun, then the moon and then the stars! The are also said to represent Life, then death, then spiritual freedom. I got a tattoo to honor my grandpa's who are gone from this life. I still love it! 
I got this symbol first but I think they compliment each other prefectly.  This is West African Adinkra for "Love never loses it's way home"

Friday, July 1, 2011

Cook books I love so far


Love, love, love the Roasted garlic tomato soup recipe! So did the kids!
I'm making the Brussel sprout salad tonight I will let you know how it goes!




So far we have only tried the Radish salad but after I made it there was none left over! It was delicious!

Day four..multi vitamin

 My weigh in today 185 or 186 I honestly can't tell!  I may need to invest in a digital scale, but then there would be no room for error! Hmm maybe I will stick to my old school scale for now.  For my small change I have picked taking a multi vitamin daily.  Everytime I say multi vitamin I think of the movie The fifth Element. There is a part where she says "multi pass" and I love the way she says it. Silly huh? So back to business.
Flex diet says that obese and overweight people are in the most need of a daily supplement not because "all they eat is junk food" but because the excess weight alters the absorption and metabolism of vitamins. I really like that explaination because I take pride in the healthy food I serve my family! I am always trying new recipes to give them a different take on food. We hardly ever eat out.  I will say that since becoming a stay at home mom I do cook more deserets/treats then I did before though!
I also like taking the multi vitamin because like Foodmatters says I am helping my body be able to help itself!
BTW I drank 2 liters of water yesterday! That's 64 oz! That's 8 glasses! Whoo Whoo Whoo!